You Should Not Have to Be Doing a Hobby Before a Zoom Meeting

I want to understand the people who are always doing something while waiting for someone. You know who I mean – the person who is somehow interrupted while doing a project of some sort at 5:05 when you were supposed to meet them at 5 and they throw you a casual “Oh, hey” like they forgot why they were there.

I have always been baffled by this, but now that we are in a world of sitting in our houses and waiting for Zoom appointments to begin, I’m even more aware of it. The other day, I was waiting for a virtual hangout with my high school friends to begin and I frantically started trying to think of something to look occupied with before realizing that that’s fucking psychotic. I’m in my house alone waiting to talk to people. What could I be doing?

Here’s why it gets me: I never want to be doing anything when I’m waiting for someone. I mean, I do, but only so that I look cool and casual. I’ve never actually had the desire to learn how to crochet while waiting for a 4:00 video meeting. So pretty much if I’m doing something when they arrive (or log on) it’s because I didn’t want to seem like I was just sitting there waiting for them EVEN THOUGH THAT’S ALL I SHOULD NEED TO BE DOING. Thus, I’m working on the assumption that most people who are mid-novel when you catch them are FAKERS.*

*I have precisely one friend who I believe is authentic in her constant project doing, and she has always been involved in some whimsical pursuit most moments of most days in all the 15+ years I’ve known her (hi, Miden).

Maybe I’m just different though. Maybe some people are just that casual about everything they do. I personally really don’t like to be caught unawares so I have no desire for escapism 15 minutes leading up to a social interaction. Can people really just not bear to be ripped away from their hobbies for a few minutes? I don’t even like to be doing something when I’m on hold with utilities companies. I literally just sit there listening to their shitty attempts to get me to use the website instead (do you really think I didn’t already try to solve this problem online before subjecting myself to this?) for hours. Once, I was on hold with the electric company so long I absolutely had to run errands and I was a shell of a human walking around the grocery store clutching the phone to my ear as if I was listening to my grandmother’s last words.

So, okay, that’s probably a bit excessive now that I’ve seen it all written out.

But can you all please accept that it really is okay to just stare at your computer for a few minutes drinking water anxiously? PLEASE.