I had to get a cavity filled today which, I’ve learned, is just a once yearly procedure once you reach the age of 100 no matter how diligently you brush (I swear! Every morning and night! That’s better than most of you!).
I planned to leave work early around 4:30 and was rushing to get a few last minute things done before heading out when I got a text from my dentist (very forward) asking if we couldn’t possibly move my appointment back half an hour to 5:30 because she was running behind.
The options the dentist’s office text gave me were to reply with either “NO” or “YES” to pushing the appointment half an hour, but really “OKAY SURE BUT I HAD PLANNED AROUND THIS TIME SPECIFICALLY ALL DAY AND I KNOW SHIT HAPPENS AND I DO SUPER APPRECIATE THE HEADS UP BUT I’M AN ANXIOUS PERSON AND ANY SUDDEN CHANGE OF PLANS KIND OF REALLY FUCKS WITH ME AND NOW I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD DICK AROUND AT WORK FOR ANOTHER HALF HOUR OR JUST HEAD OUT NOW AS PLANNED BUT THEN I MIGHT HAVE TO PAY EXTRA FOR PARKING LONGER BUT I’M NOT GOING TO RESCHEDULE SO YES” felt more appropriate.
Despite having lived in LA for 6 years and having lived in cities for forever, I was still somehow not prepared for the insane traffic in a busy commercial part of town. It took me forever to find parking that wasn’t approximately half a million dollars which made me anxious I’d be late so I decided to call the office ahead since they’d been kind enough to text me ahead. It went as follows:
Me: Hi it’s Arielle my appointment was moved to 5:30 and now I think I will be late.
Nice woman just trying to do her job: Okay no problem! Do you know how many minutes?
Me: WHAT?
Nice woman: Do you know about how many minutes you’ll be late?
Me: I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG IT’LL TAKE ME TO FIND PARKING! (Cars and parking really stress me the fuck out)
Nice woman: Oh is the garage closed?
Me: No but you don’t validate and I’m not rich so.
Nice woman: Well the 99 cent store has free two hour parking!
Me: OKAY.
This is the part where I realized I should have taken time to come to terms with the fact that this would be stressful for me. Changes of plans are stressful for me. Finding parking at rush hour is stressful for me. Getting a cavity filled is stressful for me because regular Novocain gives me panic attacks and the kind without norepinephrine doesn’t last very long and I usually end up feeling some pain while they drill. On top of this, I’d gotten up early this morning to go on a run which I NEVER do but I couldn’t go because my sciatica was acting up and my leg was basically on fire. And also I’m searching for a new roommate which is just the slightly gray cloud that’ll be over my head until January 15th, but that’s another post. It would have been a good time to take a preemptive Klonopin and do a brief mindfulness meditation.
BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED AND HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED.
I entered the office and my (extremely lovely and sweet and talented and too good for all of us we don’t deserver her honestly. Beverly Grove Dentistry. Check them out) dentist greeted me:
Dentist: How are you?!
Me: UGH.
Dentist: Oh no, that kind of day?
Me: Well, you’re about to drill a hole in my head and I’ve not head a great afternoon.
Dentist: Oh, okay. I’m sorry. Here is the consent form. Now there are things that could happen but it’s very rare and-
Me: Do you want me to read or to listen?
Dentist: Oh…I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet, then…
Yeah. I know.
I did apologize – twice. And I explained that I was just feeling really anxious about the situation since I tend to have trouble with the novocain. She was understanding but didn’t coddle me which honestly I super respect. The people pleaser in me wanted her to be like “Arielle it’s okay! Thank you so much for apologizing. I love you. You’re my favorite patient.” But she said “Hey, we all have bad days,” and then stabbed me in the jaw with a syringe. Respect.
They worked quickly and efficiently, as they always do. She finished up, asked me how it felt, and then gave me the run down of aftercare. Then she kindly sent me on my way. I thought about giving her one last “Sorry again for being a bitch!” but realized it would be more for me than for her.
As I walked out thinking about the transformation of my emotions while there and how she was able to transform my teeth, I started to tongue around to feel my newly healed and filled tooth and I realized she’d turned my tooth into a fucking vampire fang.
Now, before I elaborate I ask that you not take this as any sort of review of her work. She and her associates do incredible work. I have extremely sharp teeth to begin with and lots of shit happens when a cavity is being filled. She might have filled it a bit sharp while drilling or perhaps some of the filling latched into my chompy part and extended the already existing sword I have coming out of my face. And most importantly, she asked me how it felt.
The thing about anxiety is, you can’t often properly appraise situations in the moment. It basically went like:
Dentist: How does it feel?
Me: Normalish?
Dentist: Numbish?
Me: No, it feels normal….as far as I can tell?
But it’s really hard to tell how your tooth feels when you mouth is numb and you’ve just had like 5 implements of destruction and 10 different pastes and substances and tinctures marinating your tongue for the past 15 minutes. So I made the executive to end the overwhelming interaction quickly and determined that my tooth felt “toothish.”
So I have a fuckin vampire fang in the back of my mouth. I guess I’ll have to call back and request to not have a vampire fang in the back of my mouth. But I’m testing it on the other side of my mouth and I’m not sure my tongue really ever comes into much contact with my back most molar, so is it even a problem.
And if we’re being honest, with the amount I clench my teeth and night, I’ll probably grind the fang down in 6 month’s time, anyway.
Moral of the story:
- Know thyself
- Prepare thyself accordingly
- Be nice to your dentist
- Check for vampire fangs before leaving.
Midnight Oatmeal 